Sometimes you say some things to a photographer and they smile, pause for a second, then give you a polite reply. Wanna know what they were thinking during that pause? Well, here you go.
Please. It’s photographer. Say after me Pho-to-gra-pher.
“We have a camera at home. What camera do you use?”
I’ll bet you know a whole lot about cameras. Yes, you’re such a genius. Just keep all that to yourself.
”Shebi you will just blur the background”
Yes na, I’m Harry Potter’s cousin. Here’s a thought though, instead of making me do all that magical stuff, why don’t we just find a better background.
“I want my pictures to be like -Enter name of photographer you cant afford-‘s pictures”
Before choosing me to shoot for you, you saw my work and my style. Now you want me to suddenly turn into someone else. Okay, cool.
“I forgot to iron my shirt, can you use photoshop”
Photoshop no dey iron shirt. I really don’t know where you people hear these things.
“Can You make me slimmer?”
Camera snap what Camera see.
“Can you send me all the remaining images from the shoot”
No. But really though, why would you need 200 images of the same outfit and basically the same pose.
“Come shoot for free, we’ll get you so much exposure”
Sorry, they don’t collect exposure in the market.
“Your photos are awesome, you must be very good at editing”
Yeah, my years of experience, my creative mind, my expensive lighting equipment- all of that stuff doesn’t really matter. Editing is the real deal.
“I found this picture on facebook. I want you to make something exactly like this”
Even if I can somehow, against all odds, recreate the exact same scene from another photographer. Im an artist, copying isn’t really what we do.
“Can you come with your camera, we just want to snap one picture.”
Really? Just One?
“I want my pictures to come out nice”
‘Your pictures’- very funny. Anyways let me just ask, do you think my secret desire as a photographer is to make horrible photos?
“My phone has 20MP, how many megapixels does your camera have?”
Here we go again. I thought I asked you to keep these things to yourself.
This article was first published on Arolayan by Olusiji David